5 assertive behaviors

"Non-verbal communication is the process of communication through sending and receiving wordless (mostly visual) cues between people. It is sometimes mistakenly referred to as body language (kinesics), but nonverbal communication encompasses much more, such as use of voice (paralanguage), touch (haptics), distance (proxemics), and physical environments/appearance."

- Wikipedia

To put it more simply, non-verbal communcation happens when we transmit an idea without using words or letters. It is the wave of a hand, a smile, a hug, a touch, etc. Humans are complex social beings, and we have innate social cues (such as laughing) and learned social cues (such as bowing). In this post, I want to talk about the importance of recognizing this language, even more when it involves business.

Everyone is capable of reading non-verbal communication; we know that a frown means someone is upset and a smile that someone is happy. Yet, many other non-verbal signals escapes us, such as hand positioning on the face that can mean multiple things. After dealing with many clients throughout the years, I've learned a few tips on how to guess what the client is feeling, before they recognize it themselves.

What should I observe when negotiating with a client?

Here's a curious fact: the most honest part of our body isn't our face, it's our feet. When negotiating, try to see where your client's feet are pointing. Are they directed towards you? Good, that means he or she is interested. If one feet is pointing but the other isn't, that probably means they want to walk away. This, of course, only helps when you are standing.

Another helpful tip is their stance. Let's say you're trying to settle a deal over a price, when suddenly your client crosses their arms. That's a defensive stance, and you should tread carefully with what you say. If the client instead places their hands on their hips, that's an aggressive position, and another red flag you should be prepared for.

 

Last but not least, try to keep an open non-verbal communcation yourself. We often forget that we are also emitting these signals and that our clients are on the receiving end of them. Even on the phone, non-verbal cues can be picked up in the tone of our voice - so don't forget to smile!

For more information on this topic, I highly suggest you read the following:

What Every Body Is Saying by Joe Navarro

Communcating Across Cultures by Stella Ting-Toomey

Psychology Today: 5 Ways That Body Language Can Signal Trouble

I would love to hear about any personal experiences you've had with non-verbal communcation. Have a wonderful day!